Confessions of an Incompetent Top

It's not my fault. Really.

I'd describe myself as a switch. I've mostly had pretty vanilla girlfriends so I have very little experience with D/s from any angle.  Also, I didn't apply for the position of Top in this case; it was the only opening.

But I'm dating this chick. She is a flibberdegibbit. She's also very submissive.  Here's the rub: either really being a top is really weird for me or she is really weird, or both.  Currently my guess is "or both".

Just as an example of what is weird for me, she wants me to order for her at a restaurant.  I guess that's not the weird part.   The weird part is that she seems to want me to not find out what she wants or likes,  She just wants me to [randomly?] choose for her.  Part of me is saying "How the Hell am I supposed to know what to order for her?".  Another part of me is saying "Why not?  It would be silly to complain about having a girlfriend who wants me to do whatever I want."

Sex with her is fantastic.  Collapse )
Of course, maybe I'll just be wimpy and we'll have no detours on the way to Chicago.

Writer's Block: Taking It Personally

I'm an INTP.  Supposedly, we aren't all that common.  There are at least a couple of other INTPs who have posted here.

I'm guessing we are a personality type who is most likely to take/answer personality type questions.

I-  We're taking a quiz rather than being at a party
N- We like to deal with abstractions (like personality types)
T- Personality typing is about thinking not feeling
P- Maybe if we were judgmental, we wouldn't bother to think about this

Writer's Block: Daily Grind

If I set it, my alarm goes off at 7:00 AM.  Oddly, I seem to be in a dream these days at that time.  So I hit the snooze and start again to dream.  I keep repeating this for as long as an hour and a half.  I like the dreaming.

I may or may not have to pee.  I would prefer to wait until I shower.  I like to do everything I can in the shower.  I shave, brush my teeth, drink coffee... I wish my hot water lasted longer.

But the showering only happen right before I get dressed to leave.  If I haven't lolled about in bed, I often have time to make coffee.  Yummy, yummy coffee.  I also like to lounge on the couch for a while and watch TV.  Ideally I have TIVO'd The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Yes, my mornings are not frantic.

Superstitious Specks of Magix

Quiz time:

What is the diameter of the smallest cylinder you could fit the smallest human into
  • A] The same diameter as a Frizbee
  • B] The diameter of a can of Cambell's soup
  • C] The diameter of a human hair
If your mind has been damaged by Christianity, your answer may be [C].

That's about the size of a newly-fertilized egg.

Half of the time, these "MiniChristians" are simply flushed by the body and nothing actually comes of it.  Based of the current superstitious fads, this means that half the people in Heaven are drooling zombies that never had a single neuron fire (because they never had a single neuron).  On the bright side, they make even the dimmest Alabama church-goer seem like Einstein in comparison.

Also, identical twins are a product of a single fertilized egg.  SIncle a soul is imparted at fertilization, if you are an identical twin and you know your sibling has a soul that it turns out that you are a soul-less monster.  Sucks to be you, huh?

Don't blame me for this stuff.  The only reason it sounds moronically stupid is because it is.

Holy God I Need Sex

Unfortunately I also need to not be in a relationship.

It takes me forever to get over relationships. In April it will be two years since my last one. It's weird and stupid that it takes me so long. I wasn't even in love with her, we weren't having sex (and I don't think either of us wanted to) and we had really grown apart.

So why so damned long?

I quickly 'got back on the horse'. I jumped onto and dated a bunch of people. The problem is that my psycho-emotions would kick in and I would feel like I was falling in love (well, that's an overstatement), then I would sleep with them, and then I wouldn't want to see them again. This all happened mostly on just one date. That's not good.

I've been having fun but now my best drinking buddy (who is cute, fun, wild, and married) is probably going to rejoin her husband in Denver.

The Problems with Invented Gods

Let's say that someone invents a god and others believe it exists.  This is not a hypothetical problem.  For as long as humans have existed, there have been gods.  You may be sure that your god(s) actually exist and the competing gods do not, but everyone feels that way about their god(s).

So what are the problem with these invented gods?  They are many and they are severe:
  1. These beliefs are divisive in the worst possible way.  Competing beliefs don't just represent people getting things wrong, they are a threat to other belief system and should not be tolerated.  It's no surprise that there are many passages in the Bible like Exodus 22:20
    He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.  The reason that the Shia and the Sunni are at each other's throat is because is the Shia said that being a Sunni was just fine, then everyone would become a Sunni because that would become the only religiously safe choice.  Religions compete.  Despite their rhetoric, religions cares a lot more about themselves than they do about human blood.
  2. Wherever there are gods, there will be people who claim to speak for them.  So what, then, are these gods going to insist upon?  The gods are going to 'say' whatever the priests want them to say.  For example, humans are always scared by (and then hate) humans that seem weird.  No surprise that 'God' doesn't like them either.  As a result, the Christian god thinks people with genital injuries should not be allowed in church (Deuteronomy 23::1), anyone who touches a menstruating woman is unclean (Leviticus 15:19-30), and that gay people are an abomination.  Of course only the last one remains relevant because modern priests don't put the same words into their god's mouth.
  3. Fairness relies upon objective facts so religion undermines fairness.  The god that the Rabbis speak for thinks Jerusalem belongs to the Jews.  The god that the Imams speak for thinks Jerusalem belongs to the Muslims. No surprise that these people continue to kill one another.
  4. Because these imaginary gods define morality, all objective moral rules can be superseded.  Take, for example, Abraham.  Here's a guy that was going to kill his own child.  Don't be surprised if people fly planes into buildings or set off a bomb in a cafe.
  5. Social policy via the whims of an imaginary god will be poor.  Take, for example, the notion that a single cell which is so small it can just barely be seen without a microscope should be granted the same rights as you.  This idiotic idea is popular among Christians.
  6. Religions undermine science. This doesn't just slow down progress, it turns people against science. In the US, out technical superiority has dramtically slipped. Yet at this time, religions keep undermining science - our bread and butter.
If you are religious, you need to take responsibility for many, many tragic things like 9/11, sectarian violence in Iraq, genocide in Serbia, etc unless you can demonstrate that gods exist and your gods are the correct ones. 

Calif. gay marriage foes want donors anonymous

Yahoo article: Calif. gay marriage foes want donors anonymous

Well, duh!  If I was a bigot, I'd want my identitiy kept secret too. 

The way that bigotry ends is to expose it to public scrutiny and let the public judge whether the position is moral.  Denying people rights isn't something that should be done anonymously.  If you want to actively work to deny people rights, then you need to stand up and be counted.

People don't choose to be gay.  It is something that they discover when they reach adolescence.  It's pretty rotten to say to 4% of the population "No, you can't ever be in a legitimate marriage because your brain is wired differently from the other 96% of people.

Pirates of Africa

I'm not a big fan of American belligerence or of American interventionism but the world has a problem when nations can't count on being able to ship goods without fear of piracy.

If I were in charge, there would be a submarine sitting next to that tanker and the only people alive on the tanker would be the commandos who had killed everyone else aboard.

This nonsense should stop now.

Writer's Block: Nature Gone Wild

There are parasites that infect the brains of their host creatures so that they can reproduce. 

Take the case of Toxoplasma gondii.  It is a protozoa that reproduces only in cats but is spread by mice.  If a mouse is talented, it might be pretty good at avoiding cats.  That would be bad for theToxoplasma gondii.  The Toxoplasma gondii can tilt the odds its way by making the mouse attracted to the smell of cat urine instead of avoiding it like any other mouse would.

Here's a similar, but more complicated example from
The lancet fluke finds its way into snails while they are feeding on cow feces. The fluke remains in the snail until it matures into a tad-pole like creature, which is literally coughed out by the snail in a coating of thick mucus. This mucus is considered a delicacy for ants but after feeding on the infested mucus they become the new hosts. Once infected the ants leave their colony every night to attach themselves bottom side up to a tall blade of grass with their clamping mandibles. It waits in this manner until it is finally eaten by a cow. Once the ant has been ingested the parasite breaks out and swims through the digestive tract until it reaches its new home, the bile duct. From here new eggs are released and allowed to exit through the digestive tract inside the feces, which will then be eaten by snails to continue the cycle.

And I thought my sex life was sometimes convoluted.

Sarah Palin is the Symptom

Politics tends to swing like a pendulum.  In reaction to the excesses of the sixties and the seventies, there began to build momentum towards conformity.  To be fair, there were a lot of changes and it's no surprise that people were uncomfortable.  The were massive changes to music, sex, drugs, rock-and-roll, openly gay people, black people have been largely promoted to the same class, there's been a huge influx of Hispanic people....  No surprise that there was a backlash.

However, counter-revolutions are subject to excess also.  Now we have gotten to the point where competence, fairness, and rationality are not only irrelevant, they are an impediment to the desired ideology.  This is Sarah Palin.  This is the Republican party.. 

Fortunately, the tide is turning.  In 2004, this fanaticism was the cause of the disastrous re-election of George W Bush.  Now the Republicans have split into two camps: the Sarah Palin camp and the pre-election John McCain camp.  John McCain, of course, felt compelled to accept the brand of the right-wing nutjob in order to win the right-wing nutjob presidential vote.

America could really use a conventional Republican party.  It would be great to have a party that would try to minimize spending and lobby for a smaller, less intrusive government.